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the girl next door  Cheryl Low ' Eighteen. ' Clarinetist. ' NYJCian ' 08th Nov '91 --- I love the life of performing arts alot and my life is all about Family and Friends --- please remember to tagg! (: |
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Thursday, August 30, 2007
yesterday, i suddenly thought of like, after the O levels,
what will be of us, what will be of us -friends.
i thought of the journal that i have with carline,
and yes, i thought of u and that journal with carline too.
cause i was thinking of making a journal
with all our memories and give it to her as my last present to her.
and i was kinda thinking that probably she might be thinking of doing something like that for ME too.
not because i bu yao lian,
but because in the past,
we always had that kind of telepathy,
like as though i dont need to say out anything,
but she will always be able to know what i am thinking.
everytime during the exam period,
we will drift away,
but we will always try to salvage it.
and our journal is like a medium for us to patch things up.
i dont if it is because that journal was misplaced,
or isit because all these salvaging all so tiring and difficult that we both gave up in the end.
in the past,
it is always cheryl and carline.
cheryl and carline, cheryl and carline
and i do wonder, since when have we dirfted so far apart.
as though even if i face her now, i dont know anything about her.
comparing the past, when we dont even need to say anything,
we will know what each other is thinking about,
that kind of feeling, makes me so...
but i guess,
i was the one who gave up this friendship in the end.
sec one,
when she was first transferred to the clarinet section,
we sat together, and played that instrument tgt.
sec two,
SYF year, those scoldings from our mothers,
we shared it all.
band activities that i cant go,
i had her to accompany me.
after exams, its no doubt that me, elena and carline
will go out to shop.
take those neoprints.
those jealousy that we had when we see each other so close with other friends.
i guess we dont experience it now.
sec three,
being the SL, makes us drifting.
no matter how hard i tried to make things the same,
somewhere, somewhat, somehow, i know that things arent the same as before.
to her, probably i just seem like someone unreasonable,
who always neglected the thirds.
i know she thought me as that,
that i despise the thirds,
but no matter how hard i tried to prove it wrong,
i guess i still failed.
' please dont neglect the thirds pupeng'
this is what she wrote in the present that we gave to pupeng.
at that moment of time,
i realise that perhaps, that affinity between us is gone.
long gone. i think.
but yes, i'm at fault too
for giving up so easily.
for not hanging on.
for not giving her the trust that i ought to.
but all in all,
i guess i n her, had long learnt to take things as it is.
from that time the conversation we had with jessica,
we advice her not to put in too much trust in a friend,
i know that to us both, its a dfferent meaning of that word -friends.
yes,till now,
i can say that i didnt put to much trust in anyone of my friends.
its not that i dont want,
but i just cant.
anna, dont harp too hard on it.
everyone is ur friend.
including me (: