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the girl next door  Cheryl Low ' Eighteen. ' Clarinetist. ' NYJCian ' 08th Nov '91 --- I love the life of performing arts alot and my life is all about Family and Friends --- please remember to tagg! (: |
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Thursday, January 31, 2008
i shouldnt have said all those in my previous post.i shouldnt.
or those who have their ways to see those white fonts in my previous post,
i'm sorry to have lost my temper and most importantly,
confidence.
being a band member is never easy.
and i'm finding it hard to take things into my stride
to admit that she is better,
to admit that i'm inferior than her.
though deep down, i know she is.
no one will reject a pretty, smart and hardworking girl,
not even me.
she fits to play that part,
though people may say that i gave that up myself,
but i know myself that,
i can never be compared with her
simply because, she's perfect, to me.
i wonder when can i ever leave my inferior self behind.
guess i never can.
not with perfect people always appearing around me,
making me feel so small beside them.
i love my OG, my seminar group and Joeys' laughing club,
cause its where i feel i actually do play a part.
but when it comes to band...
i have nothing more to say.
i love band. always.
but i dont love myself being in band
knowing that i'm someone unimportant in there.
knowing that no one will notice even if i'm absent.
i cant bring myself to speak up for this band.
i cant hold my head up.
my head's always down, looking at the floor
full of my smashed confidence.
drowned in my inferiority.
hahas. more white fonts =D
i'm so happy today ((:
(not)