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the girl next door  Cheryl Low ' Eighteen. ' Clarinetist. ' NYJCian ' 08th Nov '91 --- I love the life of performing arts alot and my life is all about Family and Friends --- please remember to tagg! (: |
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Sunday, July 06, 2008
yes, facing problems with friends lately, yet againtwo friends, to be exact.
not great problems though
its just a matter of, 'am i willing to just ignore and let go'
and not make a big deal out of it.
perhaps, i used to be that wilful one whom u have to give in all along.
but i've tried to be more understanding,
and keep telling myself that i've been thinking too much
and that i've got to be more independent.
i tried to convince myself that u behaved in that particular manner
because u had problems at home or whatsoever.
but its the last straw when that dont-carish tone blurted from ur mouth that day.
cant u at least show some encouragement?
rather than that
or just a smile will do.
that isnt too much right?
its been so long a journey
from the times when we had misunderstandings,
till the times when we got so close.
and it just turned sour, over a mere three weeks?
i've told and asked people,
and they told me not to think too much into it.
but as days past, they too sense it.
so u cant blame it on my over-sensitivity, can you?
it isnt a big deal to be by the benches alone.
but it is a big deal to know that u are giving me the cold shoulder
without a reason nor any explanation.
that attitude that u gave,
puts me off.
and i dont even feel like putting in any ounce of effort anymore
not when u dont reciprocate
nor show any single kind of appreciation.
wads wrong?
and you.
yes, i've been avoiding.
cause u give me the shudders.
i practically ran that day, yes i did.
i dont understand why u said that
just ur way of showing me ur concern?
by using threats??
or by using ur own form of concern that really scares others.
sometimes, its really really beyond my limit.
i'm not those who can be there right away, after a phone call.
just because i said that i'll try,
doesnt mean that everytime u call, i have to fly down there.
i know u are faced with family problems and many more.
and i really wish to help u, i really do.
but i guess its a little over my limits?
---
yes, problems with friends surface every now and then isnt it?
cus we treasure what we had built tgt,
we hate to lose it,
we feel the lost and the pain.
but at the same time, we realise that there are many others who care for me too (:
those wonderful ones.
thanks huhpartner for those heart to heart talks
thanks elena for being my forever faithful fellow 2nd clarinetist and be with me on every band practices.
thanks xiangyun for being someone who understands and care me so much even without me saying.
thanks to people like shirlynn, keisha, yingying, who makes sectionals so nice and warm that day.
u guys make things so sunny for me.
thanks shirley, valerie and amy for giving me a sense of belonging in the class, making me laugh like mad and accompanying me whenever i need it
thanks mng who is always forever there for me.
thanks greenturtle who let me know that i'm not the only one feeling the same way and making me feel treasured.
thanks juniors who never ever ever fails to brighten up my day
you guys have been great, and i love u guys so so so so much
being with u all, makes me feel so much more orientated and organised
gives me a sense of belonging, and a place for my heart to reside.
--
i'm counting my blessings,
and it feels so good :D
to be happy or sad, u have a choice.
and i choose to focus on my blessings (:
i'm a fortunate person.
with great family and friends.