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the girl next door  Cheryl Low ' Eighteen. ' Clarinetist. ' NYJCian ' 08th Nov '91 --- I love the life of performing arts alot and my life is all about Family and Friends --- please remember to tagg! (: |
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Saturday, April 18, 2009
i just want seek your understandingits difficult for me to handle both band and studies well
and i hope you can make things a little easier
by supporting me, my band practices instead of scoldings.
its tiring enough and i really need a rest, a break when i reach home
no more long conversations/preaching sessions.
i know its A levels, YES I KNOW.
i mean, how am i able to actually forget??
when everyone in the whole wide world is reminding me.
tutors,principals,muggers
and if you think that one can remain calm/dont-carish
then you are so so wrong.
but i cant complain
cause everyone is facing the same shit that i'm in
and if they are coping well, then i guess i have the ability to do so too.
mr wong's right
i've just tooooo many negative thinkings in my mind
he's the 6878768321654946 person who tells me that
its been the norm.
band practices are getting hectic.
and that bandfreak here is getting a little tooo stretched
and the best part is that the hectic-ness havent even started
i can predict the two/three weeks in front of me is going to be filled with
loads of scoldings,tears and whatever not.
sometimes i hope that i get too overstretched and then go snap
just like an overstretched ruberband.
then perhaps it'll be a signal to me that i've reached my limits.
but thinking further,
i know of many others who are much more tensed up than me
they are stressed, and i'm not
thats the difference.
many things are best left to be unsaid
those who are close with me,
should know what's bothering me nowadays.
there are perhaps more than one.
but quoting what BT once said to me in the past,
'if you know that you cant do anything about that issue, then forget it'
yea, whats the point of worrying/moaning/crying/thinking
over things that you know no amount of tears can change.
people change,
sometimes so fast that i doubt they even know themselves
and if i've done my part, put in my very best for this friendship
only to find it useless,
i should just give up.
thinking back of all the denial/defence i've did for you in the past
i'm feeling stupid.
life's great.