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the girl next door  Cheryl Low ' Eighteen. ' Clarinetist. ' NYJCian ' 08th Nov '91 --- I love the life of performing arts alot and my life is all about Family and Friends --- please remember to tagg! (: |
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Thursday, July 16, 2009
i thought i can treat it as though nothing has happenedand i almost succeeded.
in acting as though me, failing physics is nothing
as though i can handle it.
till that very sentence that came out from you
i know maybe you are trying to console me
but sometimes i cant help but think,
maybe i dont really know you.
i'm trying hard to accept you as a friend
but, you've disappointed me so many times.
i feel bad telling others about you
but i only do that when i really cant cant CANT take it any longer
you may call it bad-mouthing or whatever
but i'm just venting it out
no matter if you believe it or not.
i failed my physics
PHYSICS
the subject that i prided myself in
till now, i still cant let this fact sink into my head
maybe i will not and cannot believe this fact,
till next monday, when i finally got back my paper
perhaps its till that very moment, will i accept the fact.
my parents were great, really great.
and i'm happy and relieved that they are the first person who came into my mind
when the tears start to roll down.
i feel like calling them and hugging them
telling them that i've once disappointed them again.
on the way home on the bus, i smsed my mum
crying on the bus like a baby.
i'm not afraid of strangers glares
i just need a nod, a hug, a kiss from my mummy and daddy
and i'm sure i'll have the faith to carry on this long and tedious journey.
i can ask for nothing more from them
and i just wish that i do not disappoint them during the collection of results
i think they deserve much more from me
i know they are disappointed.
i mean, how can they not?
even i'm utterly disppointed with myself.
peiqi, anna, aurina were with me during that break
peiqi, especially, always seems to appear during the times when i'm sad.
and everytime i see her, i feel that i just want to let it out in front of her.
that bunch of secondary friends i have now (:
they make me smile.
i never did talk to anna and aurina that much before i enter nyjc
eventhough i've known aurina for 5 years plus
and anna for 3 years plus
but i'm glad that i did now (:
my classmates were great too (:
shirley for singing that harry potter song which makes me laugh
and valerie for cracking jokes
ibu to pat me on my back
amy to be there
angeline who talked to me
they are all nice people who tried to cheer me up
with the little acts
though small, but significant.
people like shuyi and danhui saw me in my tears
and walked towards and console.
their words of encouragements meant great too (:
thanks shuyi for your smses (:
it really helped me alot, and i mean it
i'll eat more smarties like what you said (:
that sentence made me smile
i'll buy the smarties tomorrow (:
you both are wonderful juniors of mine (:
also people like mng who had been there since donkey years ago
my bad for not telling that i broke down
but deep down i know that mng will always be there (:
as i'm typing this,
i feel blessed,fortunate.
and i'm determined to pull up my grades.
watch me.